She is serious about this little sister business. (and then a little about breastfeeding, so if you don't like that then don't read it.)

Chase's goofy face, me pretending to be serious.

Chase: "Mom, I have to tell you something."

Me: "OK"

Chase: "Mom, it is important."

Me: "OK"

Chase: "I need a little sister."

Me: "OK, well maybe some day you will have a little sister."

Chase: "Calm down Mom."

Me: "Ah OK. I'm not mad. Why do I need to calm down?"

Chase: "Just calm down and get me a little sister."

Me: speechless

This is just one of the many conversations we have had about this little sister Chase wants.

I keep telling her she just needs to enjoy her little brother because who knows when/or if she will get a little sister.

So all this talking about a little sister has got me to thinking about a baby #3. I mean, don't get me wrong. I don't think I will be getting preg any time soon, but I kid you not every time I think about having another baby I get serious anxiety. Anxiety about breast feeding....do you realize what a nightmare it was for me with both my kids? Because it was.

A. Huge. Nightmare.

I want to be one of those many women who have no issues with it. With Ms. Chase I made it for around 9 months, the first 3 of which really really sucked (no pun intended). When Cohen came around I thought to myself "Oh, this will be cake. I did it with Chase...its got to be easier this time around." It was actually ALOT worse. I only lasted about 2 weeks.

Let me explain why. Pain, serious pain. Infection. And serious wierd emotional feelings every time I would breastfeed. I thought breastfeeding was supposed to be this amazing moment with your baby where you are sharing this emotional connection. It seriously made me depressed. Is that normal? I would be fine, then start to breastfeed, and get so overwhelmed and weepy. I hated every minute of it. Now top off all the crazy emotions with intense pain, and I am ashamed to admit it was more than I could handle.

But....heres the thing. I am all about breastfeeding. I still to this day feel overwhelming guilt that I couldn't do it with Cohen for longer then a couple of weeks. Since then I have tried to research things that might make it easier when baby #3 comes along (which, let me remind you isn't any time soon). Things you can do to prepare so the pain isn't so intense...stuff like that. My question is, does anyone have any suggestions? Because I am open for anything. I refuse to give up with baby #3. With both my kids my goal was to breast feed for 12 months...and although I made it almost 9 months with Chase, it was rough the whole time. And, as a side note, the nurses at the hospital with both my kids were really no help at all when it came to breast feeding. They all had the same text book suggestions and nothing helped, and before Chase was born I did take a class.

Is there some super secret thing that I'm missing? Some great suggestion you have that will make all my breast feeding issues disappear into the air? (and yes, with Cohen we bought a fancy/expensive electric breast pump. It did not help the situation in the least.)

And just an FYI, this post was just supposed to be a recap of the conversation Chase and I had, but then I went off on some breastfeeding tangent, which is weird because I'm not pregnant, nor do I have plans to be anytime in the near future. Seriously just typing the conversation made me think about another baby, which brought back all the anxiety.

Just call me baby breast feeding basket case.

Just kidding. Please don't.

Oh, and one more side note. I am lucky to have my babies. Breast feeding issues and all, I am lucky. I know there are people out there who would deal with 10 yrs of breast feeding issues just to have a baby.

K, I just re read that and sorry for the image that I may have put in your head. I really hope no one breast feeds their child for 10 yrs. Gross.

Words to live by.

This past weekend I went (for I believe the first time in my life) to the broadcast of the General Relief Society meeting. President Monson was the last speaker, and man did his talk get to me.

I needed to hear it. I loved it.

A few of my favorite quotes:

I consider charity—or the “pure love of Christ”—to be the opposite of criticism and judging. In speaking of charity, I do not at this moment have in mind the relief of the suffering through the giving of our substance. That, of course, is necessary and proper. Tonight, however, I have in mind the charity that manifests itself when we are tolerant of others and lenient toward their actions; the kind of charity that forgives; the kind of charity that is patient.

—President Thomas S. Monson

There is a serious need for the charity that gives attention to those who are unnoticed, hope to those who are discouraged, aid to those who are afflicted. True charity is love in action. The need for charity is everywhere.

Needed is the charity which refuses to find satisfaction in hearing or in repeating the reports of misfortunes that come to others, unless by so doing the unfortunate one may be benefitted. The American educator and politician Horace Mann once said, “To pity distress is but human; to relieve it is Godlike.” Charity is having patience with someone who has let us down; it is resisting the impulse to become offended easily. It is accepting weaknesses and shortcomings. It is accepting people as they truly are. It is looking beyond physical appearances to attributes that will not dim through time. It is resisting the impulse to categorize others.

—President Thomas S. Monson

Witch

So, for a long time Chase was dead set on being Coraline for Halloween. We really wanted her to be Coraline mainly because we thought it would be so darn cute on her, and she has the perfect hair cut for the costume. Then we went to Disneyland, and she saw the "real" tinkerbell flying over the "real" cinderella castle during the fire works and that was the turning point. From that moment on she wanted to be Tinkerbell and no one could change her mind.....until we went to Target today. She saw the above witch costume (which I am only going to show a pic of the back of because its not Halloween), and once again changed her mind. I tried to talk her out of it because she has been a witch before, but she was not having it. She was in love with the witch costume. To be honest, I kind of was to. I mean for 15$ bucks I wouldn't think a costume could be that great, but really this is a darn cute witch costume

Sometimes she wears her old witch costume (the one she wore like 2 or 3 yrs ago). She likes to play dress up with it. We decided we would put Cohen in it. He walked around like nothing out of the ordinary was going on. We would laugh and he would look at us like "what?", and then he would roar like a lion.

It was kind of hilarious.

I am in such a Halloween/Fall/spooky mood its kind of ridiculous.

I came across this blog and just stared at the images for around 20 minutes. I want to build a little witch cottage like the one in this post, but I am neither crafty or that creative, so I will just continue to look at the images and wish I was.

Also I followed the little tutorial the other day and made some spider webs. Now I just need to get motivated again so I can spray paint them and make them look spooky awesome like the ones in the post.

Stars and stripes and barf and park.

Hence the "stars and stripes" portion of the title.

Don't worry. There are no pictures of barf. Only the knowledge that on the one weekend we try to get away just the 4 of us both of my kids start throwing up.

Its so great when you are holding your child and they throw up all over you.

Barf in my hair, down my shirt, pretty much all over my being.

It was an experience that I hope to never relive. We came home today instead of tomorrow, due to the nastiness of them both being sick.

And of course now that we are home they are both just fine (hopefully....).

We did manage to get a few good pics of us hiking around in between the end of Cohen's barfing extravaganza, and the beginning of Chase's.

But...enough about barf.

How about we talk about the amazing time of year that is fall. Walking around Christmas Meadows in the high uintas throwing rocks in the river while the leaves are changing....I mean it doesn't get much better than that.

Also, during the drive up (before the barf fest started), I was reading Martha Stewarts October issue magazine, and really I just want to be Halloween crafty. I want to make crafty Halloween/pumpkin gift tags with fall leaves like Martha does. And then I want to make cute bags full of Halloween candy and tie my crafty tags to them and give them to my neighbors and they will be impressed with my craftiness.

Oh Martha, I envy your craftiness.

Also, what if your name was Martha? I would call you Marth.

Pics at the park by our house.

Imagine a high pitched screeching noise. Then imagine its coming out of Cohen's mouth.

Now you know what he is doing about 90% of the time.

The kids a screamer.

Possible Halloween costume? Perhaps.

Last night we were bored...so after dinner I decided we should all go walk around Gardener Village and see if all the Halloween stuff was out. It was.

Also I found this:

Mad Hatter Hat. Johnny Depp and I could be twins.

Cohen prefers to be carried like a suit case.

Chase got excited about all the pumpkins.

Random picture of Chase before school the other day.

It was actually cold enough to warrant wearing a long sleeved shirt.

Fall is just around the corner.

Boo ya.

Feeling left out.

Our backyard is essentially a mountain.

Last night Jamison and Chase decided to hike the trail that runs across the bottom of it.

Cohen didn't like that they left without him.

He stood like this, looking up at the mountain from the backdoor for about 10 minutes waiting for their return.

Obviously I had to take a picture.

Thoughts by numbers.

Cohen contemplating all the things on his 1 yr old mind...or maybe he is just contemplating eating the sand.

My random thoughts:

1. People who are consistently late are rude and inconsiderate. I am an impatient person and I hate waiting around for people.

2. I no longer want to have 1 sided friend ships. The ones where I am putting forth all the effort. Those are the "friends" I don't want around any more.

3. A few days ago while driving in a certain area, I drove past a spot that my friends and I frequented often many years ago. As I drove past, completely out of the blue, I got the most overwhelming feeling. The only thing I could compare the feeling to is when you are insanely home sick.

It was a strip club. Just kidding (about the strip club part). Had to throw something in there to lighten the mood.

4. Reason #1,121 why I am not a big fan of Draper: The traffic is a beast all the time. The second I drive out of my neighborhood I have to deal with it. Counting down the days until I don't live here anymore.

5. Reason...well maybe the only reason I might be a fan of Draper: Chase has met her "best friend" as she tells me. Its our next door neighbor who is Chase's very age. If we allowed it, they would play together all day, everyday. After we finished dinner tonight Chase said to Jamison and I, "I'm finished eating, can I walk to Ella's house?".

That one little question made me realize once again just how fast my girl is growing up.

It gave me a sad/happy feeling.

6. I am anxiously awaiting the return of 30 Rock and The Office. Thursday nights just aren't the same without them.

7. Did anyone else spend the evening outside tonight? Because the weather was perfection.

8. I am craving a carmel apple.

9. Who has read Mockingjay? I am in the middle of another really good series of books so I haven't got around to reading it yet, but I have heard some mixed reviews. If you have read it, thoughts?

10. And now I am going to watch Four Christmases. I have never scene it, and never had much of a desire to see it, but when I had a few spare momentos today I happened across it on T.V, and the part I watched was actually kind of funny. I am not counting on the rest of it being all that funny, but since I saw it was going to be on again tonight I decided to record it (DVR it?), and watch while Jamison plays his late night game of soft ball. I am kind of in a Christmasy mood anyways.

Disneyland / Huntington Beach 2010

This past week we headed to California for a mini vacation. We spent 2 days at Disneyland/California Adventure, and 1 day at Huntington Beach.

It was a long drive, and we got a flat tire about 10 minutes from our hotel, but other than that, a great time was had by all.

HUNTINGTON BEACH

was here.

Cohen and I have this game where I give him my camera lense cap, and he tries to get it back on my camera while I try to get a picture. It works wonders in getting him to smile.

I call this picture "cleavage to my neck thats gross"

This was taken at BJ's restaurant and Brew house. Its my favorite restaurant on Huntington Beach. The tomato soup is to die for.

DISNEYLAND AND CALIFORNIA ADVENTURE.

Asleep with Simba (which I am proud to say she saved up her own money to buy)

Front row seats to watch the fireworks.

I look at this picture and find it hard to believe she is only 3. She looks like she is 5.

I took this video while we were eating lunch in Huntington at BJ's restaurant. I enjoyed how they just stared at each other and danced.

I don't like coming home from vacation.

But good memories were made.

Chase did NOT like Splash Mountain.

Its a Small World and the Teacups tied for her favorite rides I think.

Soaring over California (is that what its called?) made her "just a little nervous" she informed me.

The End.